Turkey Chase

"Turkey Chase "

Something that's new in Georgia since my time, is that these days you can hunt turkeys in our state.  As a matter of fact, a few years back, I was visiting a friend who lives on the Georgia side of Lookout Mountain, and I saw more than twenty wild turkeys grazing in his backyard.  When I was a boy growing up in Nankipooh we had never seen or heard of a wild turkey anywhere in these parts, except of course, for the time we had the "Great Nankipooh Turkey Chase".

You see, old Will Barlow, who lived up near Fortson, used to raise turkeys to be sold at Thanksgiving and Christmas, so folks could have a big holiday dinner.  Well one year, just before Thanksgiving, he was headed into Columbus driving a team of mules hitched to a wagon with a cage in the back, that had about six turkeys in it.  Just as he got to the railroad tracks in front of the Biggers Grocery, a yellow jacket stung one of the mules on the back, and the mule started bucking just as they were going over the tracks, and bounced that cage full of turkeys right out of the wagon.  Well, the cage busted and those turkeys took off in six different directions.

Some of the boys were inside the store playing checkers and they saw the whole thing, and come running out to help Will catch his turkeys.  I don't know whether you know it or not, but a turkey can run pretty fast, and these raised up turkeys couldn't fly, but they sure could cover some ground.  By the time it was all over, about ten men had spent about three hours chasing turkeys all over Nankipooh.  Will got five of his turkeys back, but Walter Moon killed one with his shotgun, because he thought it was a wild turkey, and it was on his land, so the Moons had turkey for Thanksgiving, courtesy of the "Great Nankipooh Turkey Chase".

I don't know whether you folks have noticed or not, but what's going on up in DC these days is just about as organized as a turkey chase, what with the Skunks and the Polecats fussing with each other all the time, and never getting anything done.  Of course the Skunks in the Congress hate the Polecat in the Whitehouse, and vice versa.  Its done got so bad that the Secret Service is out getting drunk at lunch time, and the FBI is having to investigate the State Department, and the country's top general got fired for sleeping with his assistant.  Its plain to see that we got a bunch of turkeys running things, whether they be Skunks or Polecats, they all stink.

That's just another reason that Old Bascomb is running for President of the Good Old USA.  The ship of state is adrift with nobody at the wheel, and its time for somebody to steady our course.  If I can drive a team of mis-matched mules, then I know I can corral a bunch of turkeys!

"Now that's just the way I see it, and You can tell'em I said so." 

Bascomb Biggers