"Retirement"

DATELINE: 7/25/2011
RE: "Retirement"


I was sittin down at the Nankipooh General Store the other day playin checkers with my cousin Pete on one of those plus ninety degree Nankipooh summer days, when in comes my cousin Jimmy lookin just about whipped. Old Jimmy picked up a mason jar of sweet tea and downed it in just about one gulp. "What's up Jimmy?", I says. "My old mule Jenny just dropped dead in the traces while I was plowin out back of the house", he says. I guess it was time for her to "retire" he says.

Now that started me thinkin about retirement, which ain't that far off for old Bascomb. Of course that little dab of money I got saved up for retirement ain't much, and these days its worth less than it was, what with the Skunks and the Polecats spendin money they ain't got, and printin more to cover for it. The bank pays me less for my savins account than the rate of inflation, and yet the DC politicians keep givin the banks more money, and they keep gettin richer and richer. If they ain't got enough, the big Federal bank will loan them more at no interest. Lets see you borrow money and pay no interest!

They say there is more than one way to skin a cat, and I reckon that the Shunks and the Polecats got all the ways figured out, when it comes to the big guys gettin richer and the little guys gettin poorer. All they got to do is keep some of the folk's heads above water, so they can keep squeezin enough money out of them to keep themselves and the fat cats rollin. Of course sooner or later, you can't squeeze no more out of that turnip, but they can't see that far down the road. They just want to keep runnin up the debt till everything comes fallin down.

Now I ain't tryin to make you feel low, it just seems that old Bascomb and a lot of others ain't goin to find retirement till we fall dead behind the plow, just like old Jenny.  The only thing I know to do is keep throwin the Skunks and Polecats out of office, till we get a batch that will stop spendin money they ain't got!

"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so!"
Bascomb Biggers

"100 Years Ago"

DATELINE: 7/18/2011
RE: "100 Years Ago"


In 1911 things was real different from what they are now, but a lotta things was pretty much the same. For instance, if you look at a couple of headlines from 1911, you see that folks was fightin over Libya just like they are today. Also in 1911 the U.S. Government was tryin to take some of the power away from the big oil companies, which they claim to have been doin for the last 100 years. Of course things got a lot better when Jimmy Carter was President about 35 years ago, and created the U. S. Department of Energy to study on how to reduce American dependence on foreign oil. That really worked!

Here is those Headlines.

1911 Tripolitan War -(9/28/11) The Italians declared war on Turkey in September. The Italians were interested in annexing Libya, the only available land in North Africa. All of the European powers opposed the action, but none were sufficiently motivated to take any action. The Italians expected the war to be brief, but it took them over a year to achieve victory against stiff opposition.

1911 Standard Oil Broken-(5/15/11) In the largest and most viable anti-trust case in American history to date, the Standard Oil Company of New Jersey was ordered to divest itself of its 37 interlocking firms. An appeal to the Supreme Court was turned down.

There you go, history keeps repeatin itself, and the DC politicians still say they are workin hard to make things better for us! What I don't understand is how so many of the voters keep gettin fooled over and over by the same old lies. It don't matter who is tellin the lies neither. It could have been the Whigs or the Tories, the Grangers or the Bull Moose, the Republicans or the Democrats, or the Skunks or the Polecats, its all the same manure, just a different spreader.

When the American Voter realizes that a politician's only fear is losin his office, then maybe we can start to get somewhere. That's why you need to vote for Bascomb Biggers. Why not? You been swallowin all that horse manure for more than 100 years, and the only thing that has changed, is that things keep gittin worse. Course, we could keep on waitin until there ain't no money left, and then the Skunks and the Polecats wouldn't want their jobs no more.

I don't promise nothin, except to try to help myself to an honest paycheck, for an honest day's wage, and look out for you where ever I can. Don't forget, I ain't never lied to you, except maybe, for right now.

"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so!"

Bascomb Biggers

"Summer Politics"

DATELINE: 7/07/2011
RE: "Summer Politics"


It sure is hot down here in Nankipooh, what with the thermometer being ninety and above for about two months now. That and all the hot air being put out by all these politicians lying about what they are gonna do if you was to elect them. Of course the Republicans (Skunks) and the Democrats (Polecats) is raisin a big ruckus over the Presidential Election even though its more than a year and a half off. Its done got so hot down here with all this goin on, that the chickens are fryin their own eggs, and the bacon is sizzlin on the back of the hogs down by the trough!

Now of course the mayor of Nankipooh ain't runnin cause he got elected last year, but he sure is tryin to let on about how he ain't got nothin to do with the Polecat up in the big office up in DC. The local county commissioner is runnin this year though, you can always tell because he came by my Grandpa's store and asked Grandpa if he wanted a work gang to come by and grade the driveway. This happens every other year about six months before the election.

Now I hate to toot my own horn, but don't forget that old Bascomb has his hat in the ring for the big election a year and a half from now. The Polecats are stuck with a loser, and they know it too. Their only chance is to cloud up the air so much that you won't notice how sorry they are. Now the Skunks ain't got much to offer neither. They got about two dozen candidates, of which none of them got much support other than to get the Polecat out of office. About the best they can say is they won't raise taxes, and you know politicians always lie about that.

Meanwhile the economy is sinkin faster that Mama's Angel Food Cake in the stove, after cousin Al slammed the door last night when he come in with some fresh strawberries he had just picked. The number of folks out of work is still bigger than Grandma's bustle, and if you want a good job, you have to move to South Dakota and work for the government.

Now a vote for Bascomb Biggers won't change much of that, but it sure would make me feel better. I ain't had a good payin job in quite a spell, and you know that I will be honest with you, since I ain't never lied to you, except, of course, for right now. I do promise to do something about this heat though. I promise to turn off the Global Warming as soon as I am elected. It ought to be a little cooler in November anyway.

"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so!"


Bascomb Biggers