RE: "The Latest from Bascomb Biggers"
It is hard to get any press these days when you are running for President of the Good Old USA, when you got a guy like that Huckster from New York who makes one outlandish statement after another, just to see how far he can go. It seems to work too, since the press in this country would rather report the rantings of a confirmed con man, in preference to somebody who actually would like to work on fixing some of the big problems that the country is facing. Of course, some folks think the New York Big Shot is crazy because of some of the idiot statements he makes, but I think he just likes to hear himself talk and get headlines, and he sure has got that covered. One thing that I would bet on, is that Mr. Big Shot cares more about his hair than he does this country.
It is plain to see that the Skunk Party has got itself in quite a jam when they got way more than a dozen running, and the only one getting any notice is the Snake Oil Salesman from New York. On the other hand, the front running candidate for the Polecat Party really doesn't have much time to campaign, since she has to keep busy trying to cover for the dozen or so scandals she has been involved in.
Folks, Old Bascomb has seen a lot of history in his time, and the country is in about as bad a shape as I have ever seen it, and this parade of fools running for President is a good example of just how bad things are. The Good Old USA sure could use an honest man right about now, who cares more for the country than he does for himself, or all the money he can make off the job.
That's why Old Bascomb is running for President, so that we can get this ship of state back on course, and steer her toward the glory which once was America the Beautiful. We still got the best place to live in the whole wide world, but it ain't quite what it used to be, but it still can be. Besides all that, I sure could use a job, and I am mostly honest, and only a little bit lazy, and am willing to put what we stand for back on the map, up front, for the rest of the world to see.
"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so!"
Bascomb Biggers
