The Nankipooh Enquirer: February 2019

The Nankipooh Enquirer

The TommyTown Times

"Covers the South like Sorghum Syrup"

Editor in Chief: Colonel Bascomb Biggers

Ace Reporter : Scoop Biggers

"Accusations, Investigations, and Retaliations"

A lot of time is being wasted in this country with accusations, investigations, and retaliations from a government full of Skunks and Polecats who ain't doing much of anything else. Reminds me of the time when old man Baxter Clements accused Jeremy Norris of sleeping with Mrs. Clements. Oh, I forgot to mention that Old Man Clements owns the bank, and Norris is one of the county commissioners, so of course the press got hold of this real quick!

First thing was Norris said he never had nothing to do with the banker's wife, and besides, "she's so downright ugly, who in their right mind would have anything to do with her, anyway?" To this Banker Clements replied, "well who ever said you was in your right mind, since you spend half the day in the corn squeezings jug, instead of doing your government job. Well of course, the press was printing these comments, since there is nothing they like better than some juicy gossip.

The next we know, the folks in Nankipooh is divided right in half, with them choosing which side they wanted to believe about this controversy. It got so heated in town, that Judge Jenkins decided to launch an investigation into to the whole mess. This caused the bank to close up for a whole week, and the county commission quit meeting, since without Commissioner Norris, they did not have a quorum.

The result of all of this was that the town of Nankipooh had to pretty much close down for nearly a month, since nobody could get anything done. Finally the Judge ruled that there was no evidence to support any of the claims about adultery or drunkenness. The outcome of all of this was that the folks in Nankipooh had to suffer because two petty men did not like one another.

Now folks, let me tell you that this is exactly what is going on up there in DC right now. The Skunks and the Polecats hate each other so much that they don't care about taking care of the country no more. All they care about is make the other side look so bad, that they can't win the next election, and the press is right in there with them, slinging mud all over the place.

I say kick them all out of office until we get some folks up there who are more interested in running the country, than just beating the other side.

"Now that's just the way I see it, and you can tell-em I said so."