Bascomb for President Again !

The Nankipooh Enquirer 
"Covers the South like Sorghum Syrup"

This is an "oldie" sent out by Bascomb when he was running for President a few years back.

Ya'll might remember that Old Bascomb doesn't have any use for Professional Politicians or their parties.

He refers to the Republicans as "Skunks" and the Democrats as "Polecats", since they both stink.  The way things are looking Old Bascomb might need to dust off his hat, and throw it in the ring again for this next time.  After all, he can't be any worse than what we have now, and you know he always says, "I ain't never lied to you, except for maybe right now."

Scoop Biggers

"Field Hand"

Back when I was farming in a big way, I used to have a field hand working for me by the name of Joseph Barnes.  Now Joseph was a good worker on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but he was pretty much no a count for the other days of the week. You see, old Joe liked to start his weekend on Thursday night, which made it hard to get to work on Friday or Saturday, and of course we don't work on the Lord's day, and then Monday it took all day to recover from the previous three days.  Old Joe liked to hit the jug pretty hard, and only drawin wages three days a week, he just couldn't seem to get ahead. Now just about every other week, Old Joe would come to me and say, "Boss Man, I ain't gonna have enough money for the rent and the groceries, so I was wonderin if you could let me have a little advance, so I can catch back up".  Well, after working for me for twenty years, Old Joe was so far in debt that he could work the rest of his life and never get out of debt, even if he was to work six days a week, which we both knowed he wasn't gonna do. By this time I knew that Joe's son Tom was gonna be just like his Daddy, and was already borrowin money from me too.  Well after awhile, havin these folks all owein me money, it started gettin hard for me to pay all of my bills, and finally I had to give up farmin all together, cause I just couldn't make enough money to pay the bills for all of us. Now we got some folks up there in Washington DC who are a lot like Old Joe, they figure that they can keep gettin money from the Boss Man, and that well ain't never gonna run dry, until one day they look up, and China owns the farm, and they ain't got a job no more.  You can't dig out of a hole, and you can't borrow your way out of debt! There is three things that are important to a professional politician.  First they got to get elected.  Second they got to get all the money they can from the taxpayers, and third they got to get re-elected.  Nothin else is really important to them.  Once you understand that, then you also know that they know how to spend, but they don't know how not to. "Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'um I said so!"  Bascomb Biggers BASCOMB BIGGERS FOR PRESIDENT PLATFORM PLANK #9-Make Fried Catfish the National Dinner