"The Christmas Tree"

DATELINE: 12/01/2011
RE: "The Christmas Tree"


When I was a boy growin up on the old Biggers' farm in Nankipooh, we always cut a tree off of our land to use as a Christmas tree. Now we had lots of different trees to choose from, but we always had a cedar tree for our Christmas tree. One year when I was about fifteen, I had spotted a perfect tree up by the main road that was just the right shape and size, so I asked my Grandpa about cuttin it. He said no, since that he could see it from the house, he wanted it to stay there, and I should go further back in the woods behind the house and get one from back there.

Well a couple of days later I was huntin quail out in the little valley between the house and the main road with my old single shot, 16 gauge shotgun. Now I'll tell you that you have to be a pretty good shot if you want to eat quail when you hunt with a single shot, and no bird-dog. Well I ain't braggin, but I ate a lot of quail back in those days. About this time I happened to look up on the ridge where the main road was, and I saw a wagon pulled over and a man and a couple of kids standin next to that pretty little cedar tree that my Grandpa wouldn't let me cut.

I walked up there just about the time the man hit that tree the first lick with his ax. I said, "sure is a pretty tree ain't it?" Well the man was in his mid thirties, and his boys were about seven and nine. He says, "Yeah its mighty pretty, and we are goin to use it for our Christmas tree." Then I said, "reckon whose land this is?" and he says, "I don't know." About then, I pointed that old single shot 16 right at his belly and said, "Well this is our land, and since you done started cuttin, you might as well finish up, and we will be havin that tree for our Christmas, and then you and your young-uns can git and don't come back!"

Well that tree did make a mighty pretty tree for our Christmas, but Grandpa always was a little sad that he couldn't see it from the front porch, standin tall on the ridge up by the road.

Now folks, there is a lotta people in this old world that are willin to come and take what is yours, without sayin howdy do. We got plenty up there in DC that keeps takin more and more from us, and they don't seem to be able to stop. That's one reason that old Bascomb is runnin for President, because I aim to stop at least some of the takin, and I don't need my old single shot 16 gauge to do it.

"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so!"

Bascomb Biggers

"The Supreme Court"

DATELINE: 11/16/2011
RE: "The Supreme Court"


I once had the chance to sit in on a hearin before the Supreme Court of the United States of America, and I learned quite a few things that I didn't know. First I learned that there are nine of them, but all of them ain't awake at the same time. There was one who slept through the whole thing (ain't mentionin no names, but some call him CT). The second thing that I learned was that they ain't always polite to the folks speakin to them, cause they keep interuptin with one question after another, sometimes before the one in front of them has even had a chance to answer the first question. Course, I don't mind them bein in-polite much, since the ones standin in front of them is lawyers, and I ain't got much use for lawyers at all.

Now back in 1911 there was a big case before the court involvin the big oil business.
It was Standard Oil vs. the United States. The Chief Justice was a man named Edward Douglass White. Mr. White was from Thibodaux, Louisiana and had been an officer in the Confederate Army during the Civil War, so he couldn't be all bad. He was Chief Justice from 1910 til 1921.
In those days we was all scared of the big corporations takin advantage of the citizens. (sound familiar?) Well the court ruled that Standard Oil could not have the whole U.S. oil business just for themselves., so they had to break up into smaller companies which still controlled more than 75% of the business. These days we got about four big companies controllin most of the oil business, along with about four big banks, and about four big stock market companies. These are of course, controlled by about four million lawyers, and what with most of the Supreme Court Justices bein lawyers themselves, you ain't got much of a chance if you ain't one yourself.

Now you realize that most of them Skunks (Republicans) and Polecats (Democrats) up in DC are lawyers don't you? When I was up in DC watchin the court, there was people scurrin around all over town, and I was wonderin to myself, "how many of them was lawyers?" Just imagine if all lawyers was banned from DC, how deserted would the place be? One thing is for sure, I bet we would get a lot of work done! Vote for Bascomb Biggers for President of these United States of America. I ain't no lawyer.


"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so!"

Bascomb Biggers
BASCOM BIGGERS FOR PRESIDENT !
PLATFORM PLANK #9-Make Fried Catfish the National Dinner !