"Summer Politics"

DATELINE: 7/07/2011
RE: "Summer Politics"


It sure is hot down here in Nankipooh, what with the thermometer being ninety and above for about two months now. That and all the hot air being put out by all these politicians lying about what they are gonna do if you was to elect them. Of course the Republicans (Skunks) and the Democrats (Polecats) is raisin a big ruckus over the Presidential Election even though its more than a year and a half off. Its done got so hot down here with all this goin on, that the chickens are fryin their own eggs, and the bacon is sizzlin on the back of the hogs down by the trough!

Now of course the mayor of Nankipooh ain't runnin cause he got elected last year, but he sure is tryin to let on about how he ain't got nothin to do with the Polecat up in the big office up in DC. The local county commissioner is runnin this year though, you can always tell because he came by my Grandpa's store and asked Grandpa if he wanted a work gang to come by and grade the driveway. This happens every other year about six months before the election.

Now I hate to toot my own horn, but don't forget that old Bascomb has his hat in the ring for the big election a year and a half from now. The Polecats are stuck with a loser, and they know it too. Their only chance is to cloud up the air so much that you won't notice how sorry they are. Now the Skunks ain't got much to offer neither. They got about two dozen candidates, of which none of them got much support other than to get the Polecat out of office. About the best they can say is they won't raise taxes, and you know politicians always lie about that.

Meanwhile the economy is sinkin faster that Mama's Angel Food Cake in the stove, after cousin Al slammed the door last night when he come in with some fresh strawberries he had just picked. The number of folks out of work is still bigger than Grandma's bustle, and if you want a good job, you have to move to South Dakota and work for the government.

Now a vote for Bascomb Biggers won't change much of that, but it sure would make me feel better. I ain't had a good payin job in quite a spell, and you know that I will be honest with you, since I ain't never lied to you, except, of course, for right now. I do promise to do something about this heat though. I promise to turn off the Global Warming as soon as I am elected. It ought to be a little cooler in November anyway.

"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so!"


Bascomb Biggers