Professional Fools

DATELINE: 1/23/2012
RE: "Professional Fools"


It sure has been fun sittin around down here in Nankipooh watchin the professional politicians make fools of themselves. This Presidential election has got to be just about the most confusin one this country, and Old Bascomb have ever seen. The Skunks and Polecats parties couldn't put on a better show, if they was P.T. Barnum and Mr. Baily themselves, with a whole tent full of clowns, which is of course is just another name for fools.

Now, you know, Old Bascomb has tossed his hat into the ring for President, but I never knew that it was goin to be a three ring circus. Why, a man could grow old and die, just waitin for the dust to settle, and see who the final choice for Skunk and Polecat will be to go up against the man from Nankipooh.

Just for a re-cap, let's see what we got here. First we got a man sittin in the White House who ain't never seen a dollar he didn't want to spend. The fools in the Skunk Party figured this would be an easy chance for them to go up against the man sittin there, and they started out with a whole bunch of challengers, who very shortly commenced to chasin their own tails. When they got tired of that, they started chasin each other's tails. You had several of them who have had a hard time keepin their pants zipped up, and most of the rest don't know when to zip up their mouth. All in all, its been a pretty good show so far.

Now the Polecats have been mostly just sittin and watchin, and besides enjoyin the show, they been lookin pretty much like a coyote watchin a prarie dog, and waitin for dinner. Course while they been watching, they been gobblin up dollars faster than a black mouse eatin cheese on a white floor. I guess they figure that if they don't hold on to the White House next year, it won't matter much, since they will have done got all the money they can carry off anyways.

This is of course has got the Skunk party kinda worried, since they didn't get their fill the last time they was in charge, and the Polecats have done took stealin money from the voters to a new all time high. Now my friends this might make you ask the question, "what's in it for Old Bascomb?", and I'm gonna tell you. All I want is a full time job, and a chance to cut back on stealin the taxpayer's money to a reasonable level. I figure about half of what the professional politicians are gettin right now would be about right.

You see I believe we can run the government on a whole lot less money, and the Skunks and Polecats can still fill their pockets, while leavin a little left over for doin the work of the country, which means a little bit for you, the taxpayers. After all, you are the ones payin the bill, and Old Bascomb only wants a fair day's wage for a fair day's work, so I see the job of President as being kinda like a guard on the henhouse, so that the Skunks and the Polecats don't get all the eggs. Oh, and I do want to make Fried Catfish the National Dinner, with enough Hush Puppies for everyone!

"Now, That's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so."

Bascomb Biggers