"Lawyers"

DATELINE: 3/05/2011
"LAWYERS"

I was thinking the other day that maybe it was time for old Bascomb to make out a will, being that I probably don't have as many days ahead of me as I do behind me. Well even a good old southern boy knows that you can't beat a Jewish lawyer when it comes to messin with this dad-gummed legal system, we got goin in this country today. So I contacted the best firm in Nankipooh:
Travice and Leecar
Counselors at Law
#9 Main Street
Nankipooh, Georgia
Now I have known both of these fellers for nigh onto forty years, so I figured I could trust them to do right by me. Well first off I had to take one of them out to lunch just to set up a time to start makin out the will. Then the appointment time kept changin for the next couple of months, until finally three months later I had a chance to sit down in the office and discuss the will, which I had ended up havin to write myself.

Well they called in a bunch of folks to testify that it was in fact my will, and I of course had to pay for their lunch as well. Then they told me that when they had finished every thing, they would sent me a copy of the will to keep at home. When I did get the copy, I found out that a bunch of pages had all been scrambled up, and some of the heirs were different than what I had said to begin with. The only part that was right was the one about Travice and Leecar being in charge of my estate, and them gettin some of the money.

They promised that they would fix everything, and send a good copy of the will to me in a few days. Well its been several months now and I ain't heard nothing else from them about it. I got to thinking about the way the government and all these lawyers are runnin things these days and I decided that I just ain't gonna die, cause its just too dad-gummed complicated.


"Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'um I said so!"

Bascomb Biggers