Fishing with no Bait

"Fishing with no Bait"   Here in Georgia, we got quite an election going on, and of course all of us folks down here in Nankipooh are mighty excited, just like folks from all over the state.  The two big races are for Governor of Georgia and United States Senator, and there has been a lot of money pouring in from out of state by both the Republicans (Skunks) and the Democrats (Polecats).  I call them Skunks and Polecats since they both stink, and this just might be the most odorous election ever in the Peach State. The governor's race has come down to a choice between an old political hack who is now a Skunk, but was once a Polecat, and his opponent, a young whippersnapper who ain't never done nothing, and don't appear to know nothing, other than his granddaddy was once a President, whose record speaks for itself (Stinks).  In the senate race we got a choice between two folks who don't seem to stand for much, other than they are trying to paint their opponent as worse than a case of scarlet fever.  What makes it worse is that neither one has ever been elected to anything, but they both got famous political relatives.  It is like they are fishing with no bait!  The real important thing here is that the outcome in the senate race might determine who gets control of the United States Senate, either the Skunks or the Polecats.  As I said it don't make much difference to Old Bascomb since I think they both stink!  I'm kinda sorry that I ain't running for either of these offices, since it looks like Georgia is in a lot of trouble no matter what the outcome is.  On the bright side, Old Bascomb is running for President of the Good Old USA in the next election two years from now.  The way things look the country is going to need a good Watchdog to guard the Congress from messing up the country anymore that it already is.  A good Watchdog can at least keep the Skunks and Polecats from stealing all of the eggs out of the henhouse. So in 2016, be sure you vote for Bascomb Biggers for President.  Here is the Platform: BASCOMB’S CAMPAIGN PLATFORM 1.   REDUCE ALL FEDERAL TAXES BY 20% 2.   REDUCE ALL FEDERAL SPENDING BY 40% 3.   MAKE A BALANCED FEDERAL BUDGET THE LAW 4.   PLACE TERM LIMITATATIONS ON ALL CONGRESSMEN 5.   REDUCE PRESIDENTIAL AND CONGRESSIONAL SALARIES BY 50% 6.   SEAL ALL U.S. BORDERS (NORTH, SOUTH, EAST AND WEST) 7.   DEPORT ALL ILLEGAL ALIENS 8.   MAKE ENGLISH THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE U.S. 9.   MAKE FRIED CATFISH THE OFFICIAL NATIONAL DINNER "Now that's the way I see it, and you can tell'em I said so."        Bascomb Biggers BASCOMB BIGGERS FOR PRESIDENT ! PLATFORM PLANK #9-Make Fried Catfish the National Dinner MAKE "REAL VALUE" THE NATIONAL OBJECTIVE !

"Snakes in the Grass"

"Snakes in the Grass" When I was a kid growing up on the farm down in Nankipooh, there were a few things you had to know about farming and living close with Mother Nature.  One thing all farmers know is that Mother Nature can be your enemy sometimes, as well as your friend.  The good Lord has provided us with quite a lot of bounty by making us the Shepard's of his garden, but as you might recall, the garden also has snakes.  When you get old enough to be out wandering around on the farm, one of the first things you learn is to watch out for snakes.  Now, down in Nankipooh we had quite a few different kinds of snakes, including a few that were downright dangerous.  We even came across a Coral Snake once when I was a boy, and after having heard about how quick death comes to those who get bit by one, and then seeing one, it just about scared me to death.  Grandpa always said, "If you see a snake, and you ain't sure what kind he is, go ahead and kill him to be on the safe side". One of my chores was to haul out the ashes from the fireplace and tote in fresh firewood, which was an everyday task.  We had a woodshed built onto the back side of the chicken house where we stored the dry cured wood for the fireplace.  One day when I was about twelve, I went into the woodshed to get an armload of firewood and I happened to look up at the rafters a few feet above my head, and there was Mr. Rattlesnake staring down at me.  Well I dropped that firewood and ran to the house and got Grandpa's 12 gauge double barrel shotgun and ran back to the woodshed and let old Mr. Rattlesnake have both barrels at once. I blew that snake straight to the Promised Land, but in the course of things, I also sent about half of the roof to the woodshed along with him.  When Grandpa came in from the field for dinnertime, he wasn't real pleased with me having shot away the roof to the wood shed, but I told him, "Grandpa you always told me to kill the snake first, and then investigate afterwards", and there wasn't much else he could say after that. Maybe you didn't know, but Georgia has more snakes per square mile than any other state, at more than fifteen snakes per square mile, and a lot of them ain't your friend.  Now farmers know that the good snakes are the ones that kill the bad snakes. Farmers don't kill black snakes because the Black King Snake is the best there is at taking care of the bad ones.  Of course he looks a lot like the Black Racer, who is mean, but not poisonous, so they let all of the black snakes alone. Also a friend, is the Georgia Banded King Snake, but he has a problem, in that he looks a lot like a Coral Snake, so a lot of them get killed by mistake. Our country today is facing a lot of these same problems, just like that old Georgia farmer.  There are a lot of snakes out there, especially in one particular part of the world, where some of those snakes want to kill our country.  A lot of the bad ones look a lot like the good ones, and you better have somebody in charge who can tell the difference, which we don't seem to have right now. Well, Old Bascomb is a farmer who can tell a weed from a bean sprout, and a King Snake from a Coral Snake, and right about now that seems to be pretty important when it comes to protecting our country and keeping it safe.  That's why Old Bascomb is running for President of the Good Old USA, because he can tell the bad ones from the good ones, besides the crops are all in, and the woodshed is full of firewood for the winter. "Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'um I said so!"         Bascomb Biggers BASCOMB BIGGERS FOR PRESIDENT ! PLATFORM PLANK #9-Make Fried Catfish the National Dinner

The President's Job

"The President’s Job" I’ve been reading about all the controversy over whether or not the President can wage war without the Congress declaring war, and it sounds like to me that there is not any real controversy at all.  The job of the President is to conduct our international affairs in the best interest of the country.  The Preamble to the US Constitution states that the purpose is to “insure domestic tranquility and provide for the common defense.”  The Congress makes war possible by making it an official state of war and providing for the financing of the war, but it is the President, who as “Commander and Chief”, is in charge of waging war. Now is there any doubt in anybody’s mind that we are at war with these groups of crazies who have sworn to kill us?  How long are we going to let millions of people threaten to exterminate us, and continue to quibble over what to do? The only problem is that the professional politicians, both in Congress and in the White House, are more worried about being blamed for failure and taking credit for victory, than they are standing up for their country.  The Good Book says “to smite thine enemies”, and I for one am ready to do some smiting! Bascomb Biggers is an old fashioned man who believes in the old fashioned notion that it is the duty of the citizens and especially their leaders to stand up for the country and take a chance on doing the right thing, regardless to the personal consequences.  Some used to call it Patriotism, while others referred to it as Statesmanship.  Regardless of the definition or terminology, it means doing the right thing because it is right. It is about time that someone stood up for America, and picked up the gauntlet which has been thrown at our feet, and that is why Bascom Biggers is running for President of the Good Old USA.  Besides, things are slow down in Nankipooh, and I need a job. "Now, that's the way I see it, and you can tell'um I said so!" Bascomb Biggers BASCOMB BIGGERS FOR PRESIDENT

Scoop's Quips #sb-04-14

Scoop's Quips #sb-04-14

"The Old Gambler said that you had to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em.  Well I sure would like to play a couple of hands of poker with our President, cause he don't know the difference between a winning hand and a losing hand, and he can't bluff worth a damn.  On top of that he likes to throw a lot of money into the pot”

Scoop Biggers

Bullies

Dateline: August 24, 2014

"Bullies"

I was watching an old Happy Days episode the other day and Fonzie was trying to teach Richie how to deal with bullies.

The Fonz told Richie to just walk up to the meanest guy and brace up to him and act tough, and the bully would probably back down when he saw Ritchie threatening him.  After the guy gave Ritchie a black eye, Ritchie asked Fonzie what happened, and the Fonz said, "Oh I forgot to tell you that before you threaten someone, you actually would have had to hit someone at some time in the past.

So, let me get this straight.  Hamas throws a bunch of rockets into Israel, and then Israel attacks them and destroys all of their tunnels, does about a billion dollars worth of damage to Palestine, and kills a bunch of people.  The result is that Hamas decides to sit down and talk peace.

On the other hand the President of the US in confrontations with Syria, Russia, Iran and North Korea, draws a bunch of lines in the sand and then backs up when they ignore them, and things get worse.

Is there something that I am just no seeing here?

Scoop Biggers

Inside out, Outside in

Dateline: July 23, 2014 "Inside out, Outside in"

Well the people of Georgia have spoken once again, and in the Republican Primary, they have chosen to put the "Insider" out, and the "Outsider" in.  The bottom line is a professional politician of more than 21 years has gotten the boot in favor of someone who has never held political office.  Of course one thing remains true to current American politics, and that is that the people with the most money control most of the power, and the little guys get played off against each other.

If you had a million dollars, it would not be enough money to get you elected to even a minor political job, but if you had fifty million dollars, you could probably buy yourself into a major state or even national office.  Of course if you have fifty million dollars and were a member of a well known political family, the odds are better than even that you could get elected.  If there are no jobs available in your state , then you can move to another state and set up shop there.  Just get an office, and advertise, "well known professional politician available for hire, don't need money"  (Clinton or Romney etc.)

The question is, why does anyone with fifty million dollars want a job that pays less than a million dollars per year?  I sure don't, like most folks, if I had fifty million dollars, I'd be in a hammock somewhere sipping lemonade, or out on the lake somewhere catching catfish.  Most folks only need a few million to be happy for the rest of their lives.

We had a rich man here in Georgia a few years back who ran for Governor and Senator and lost both times at an estimated cost of his own money, of more than fifty million dollars.  Why?  Because money buys power and powers brings in more money.  His problem was that he was not a member of a well known political family.  (Ross Perot)

In the upcoming election, the Georgia voters will have a choice for U.S. Senator between the daughter of a former senator and the cousin of a former governor.  For Governor the choice will be between a long time professional politician and the grandson of a former governor and president.  They all have a lot of money and are backed by people who have even more money.

I think I would rather be outside in the hammock with my lemonade because whether it be inside out or outside in, things are pretty much the same in Georgia politics. 

"Just my Opinion"

Scoop Biggers

Happy 4th of July

The Nankipooh Enquirer "Covers the South like Sorghum Syrup"

"Happy 4th of July"

First, let me say Happy 4th of July to all of America, and especially to the friends and supporters of Bascomb Biggers and the Nankipooh Enquirer.  The 4th is a great day in American history, and a great day to announce that once again Bascomb Biggers will be running for President of this beautiful country.  He will be running on the same ideals and principles which he stood for in the previous election, when the country took a really bad turn on the course for the nation.  The Platform will be the same, as outlined below, but the new campaign slogan is:

"Make Real Value the National Objective!"

Bascomb and the nation needs your support and your vote to put the good ship "America" back on course.

BASCOMB

PLATFORM PLANK #9-Make Fried Catfish the National Dinner

 MAKE "REAL VALUE" THE NATIONAL OBJECTIVE!